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The attacks on my kingship were reaching a feverish pitch! It was hard to keep track of SYD business when needy welfare customers were constantly berating me about their fucking waffle orders. Shit! Nearly lost the plot in January 2012 during a hectic Sunday brunch shift. This is when the Waffle Hut demanded the most of me. This mother fucking new member called Mysize was one of the sneakiest, most rotten cunts in the history of the site, but many LOVED his trouble-making. It made me look weak! Things were starting to calm down when I noticed a very bad attack on site and had to jump in. The timing could not have been worse. Sunday rush and Shequinda was just sat and she looked hungry. She was the reason we stopped the All You Can Eat special, but her order would take up a lot of my time.
With this site arseholes running amuck, I had to work my spatula and pre-paid iPhone at a operational tempo that was impossible for my feeble brain. Shequinda started yelling at the servers for food and in the midst of the rush, site attacks, and her yelling, I dropped by phone in the waffle batter. I did not even notice and put it in the waffle maker and added it to the 2 foot stack of waffles headed for Shequinda's ravenous mouth. What happened next was just surreal. Shequinda bit into the waffle and broke three of her teeth. Police and ambulance service were summoned and I knew I was done in. I would be sacked for sure!
Being the sad cunt that I am, I switched batter pans with my assistance chef and he was blamed for the incident. I needed to keep my job and Shequinda got millions from the Waffle Hut. Fuck. I need to sue someone to get ahead! That is my only hope. The situation unfolding that evening at home was not good either. My neglect of Mary would come to bite my sagging hind parts. When I got home, there was a note that Mary was going on a date! What the fuck!??
One of the site cunts, I still never found out who, cat fished Mary into a date. He had charmed her with this handsome looks and fancy car. Figured he would have pulled away at high speed when he saw her in the wheelchair but that was not the case. Around midnight, the door bell rang and Mary was left in a Walmart shopping cart drunk out her mind. The rotten bastard that did it even left a return receipt from Walmart that was marked "Damaged, Do NOT Re-Stock." What kind of savage was behind this!!!?? I had some serious questions for Mary that would have to wait for her to sober up. This was out of control! Was it an Aussie that was behind this deception? And where the fuck was her wheelchair???
When Mary work up I was filled with rage. Had one of these site bastards long dicked Mary in her arse? Or jammed it huge knob down her throat!? I demanded answers. What the fuck happened last night!??? What Mary told me was both appalling and unacceptable! This site monster picked up Mary in a fancy Porsche 911, which would not fit a wheelchair. So what did this fuck do you ask? He tied it to the real spoiler of the car!! He took her to dinner at Ruth's Chris and apparently dropped $2000 on dinner, wine, and whisky. $2000!!!!?? That is like 3 months income for me! Who WAS this guy!??
He apparently had frisky hands and gave Mary a finger fuck in the car before they even got to the restaurant. On the way home from this "date" the wheelchair came loose and was dragged down the 5 freeway. Mary said this bastard was howling with laughter at the sparks and took a really hard turn and it went flying off the road, smashed on the K-rail! He stopped at Walmart at stole a cart and when they were back to our house, loaded her in there, and even shoved a candle from the restaurant up Mary's furry cunny. He even tried to light the candle before ringing the doorbell to turn my beloved into some kind of cunt cake!
These events are both true and horrible. I would turn to my loyal SYD Kingdom for help!