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The Crown- SYC 2012 Season 1 Episode 7A

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By Skittles [Ignore] at 05,Mar,18 19:57   Pageviews: 28

With White Precious gone... I mean Luv69, it meant finding new members that would be loyal to my brown crown. This would prove to be difficult as the Skype Gang could sense my weakness. But what did they want? Far as I could tell, they did not give two shits about the SYD Crown. What had I done to deserve this for fucks sake? God had already punished me with a small knob and feeble mind. As I sat in my SYD command center pondering my next play, tragedy struck our home. One of those rotten Aussies, or worse, had posted my precious Red Dragon on Craig's List!

Here is my best recollection of what the ad said:

1996 Red Fire Bird for sale- only 232,000 miles, original paint peeling, and the backseat needs a HazMat detail to clean the bodily fluids. Car rides like a rented donkey cart in Tijuana and accelerates like a tanker semi filled with medical waste. She takes the curves like a fat man rounding the corner when the dinner bell rings at the mental hospital. This car just whispers sweet lies to you. Like, you will pick up hot women with me, I promise to get you to work on time.

I sat there seeing this on my screen for 30 minutes stewing in my own failure. What rotten cunt had said these horrible things about the Red Dragon!? The types of people that called about this ad were just about the worst I have ever seen! This was new low in my reign and King of SYD.

It was after all this there was a ray of hope. A new member had come on board and he was fit for a king. He had limited English proficiency and was 54 years old. He would rise quickly in my kingdom and would be someone to help restore order. My knew prince lived in North Carolina. He had really lucked out when he got his house. The US military had used the area for years. In fact, it was nearly declared a Super Fund site. Leppy was so lucky to get a parcel just outside the worst pollution and unexploded ordnance. This is where he built his castle. He did not have all his teeth and his hair was patchy. To this day, I think it was because of the chemicals on his land.

We would spend the next several days trying to come up with a solution. The brain trust of my kingdom grouped together. If the energy coming from our brains could be harnessed, someone might be able to lightly toast some bread. We were however determined to take back our kingdom and restore order. Main chat was closed these days. It was a dark time on the site. Soon, we would rise up and take back the site using our very own room!

Now fully organised, I engaged the Skype Gang and demanded they all get in the office for a meeting. My only hope was to convince them to stop their fighting, attacks, and chaos. Everyone was on this call- Hotlips, Arir39, Acro28, JohnyAmatuer, Deviant, Yo-Yo, Super-Hornet, EvilFairy, and Glasgow_boy. The fighting and yelling started as soon as the call started. I felt that Glasgow_boy would reach through my screen and would choke me out. I was scared of the Scotsman.

I had taken 2 Viagra to get my knob up and spent 2 hours standing naked in front of the mirror yelling at my cock trying to get it up. I needed to have a boner to able to face the angry Skype Gang. That cunt Acro28 saw a pizza box on camera and asked where were the fucking wing dings! Fuck!!! The laughter was unbearable and even two Viagras in, my knob deflated faster than a bike hitting a nail. Not how I wanted to start this call. To make matters worse, that fucking Super-Hornet said my home looked like a living room on "Cops." This was going nowhere fast. What happened next is hard to share.

Old Mary had come into some money after her accident at work and she parlayed that into some serious cash playing bingo with the Indians. She installed a wheelchair ramp that would power her up the stairs. My bunker was not secure anymore. Normally I could hear the ramp moving her up, but with all the laughter and fighting I was operating in the blind. Orgasm Mary (her high school nickname for allowing everyone to finger her) opened the door and yelled at me for being so loud. Everyone saw her and went silent. They thought it was me mum, but Orgasm Mary was my wife and was 23 years older than me.

Evers- AKA Glasgow_boy went into one of his famous Scottish diatribes attacking me. He took a screenshot and blackmailed me for years. It did not matter. The damage was done. I had failed to rally my kingdom.

This Christmas was gonna suck.

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