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The Crown- SYC 2012 Season 1 Episode 8

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By Skittles [Ignore] at 25,Mar,18 13:06   Pageviews: 34

Christmas? Yeah, it sucked ass for sure. It reminded me of the "Breakfast Club" when John Bender talked about his Christmas. Oh yeah, it was a banner year here as well. Carton of smokes and some piss tasting scotch under the tree. Santa had really mother fucked me. Worse yet, Waffle House was launching their New Years Eve scheme: All you can eat Waffle's for $6.00USD. My skills and my spatula would be tested.

After polishing my spatula and trying to get past the nightmares caused by the Skype Gang, I finally had the courage to log into my kingdom. What transpired next will forever scar me. This rotten cunt Skype Gang was already in chat running amok with no fewer than EIGHT fake Monteds! Where the fuck was my back up? These cunts operated with impunity and I just could not stop them. My loyal gang had been taken out faster than a welfare check on the first of the month. How would I go at this alone? Even the webmaster of the site sat back in his chair laughing at the shit storm I created. What was happening to me?

I reached out to friends in Australia for help. Begging really. It turned out that Deviant was still a good mate. He agreed to visit me. Finally! Some good news. We would drink scotch together and would work to restore my kingdom. It was a long-haul flight from Sydney with a connection through San Francisco. I could not wait to pick up a good mate in the Red Dragon and even had her detailed. The Big Day finally came. I sold some of Orgasm Mary's things to tank up the Red Dragon with premium petrol and proceeded to the airport. This was going to be a big day, so I had my mobile and was logged into to SYD to provide a play by play of the pick up. I would also be able to show the Skype Gang I was still popular! Fuck yes!

Traffic was bad getting into Sea-Tac and I arrived on time but was not able to find Deviant. I circled the airport time and time again and started to sweat. Panic was setting in! I had been stood up like a one toothed crack whore with a $5 sign hanging around my neck. At that very moment, all I could hear the Skype Gang howling with laughter at yet another humiliating moment for me. There would be hell to pay. Well, at least when I got my Waffle House holiday bonus check. As soon as that happened, I would be flush with site points again! The only I did pick up at the airport was a parking ticket. It was for $125. I threw it away. No way I was going to pay that ticket when the money could be used for site points.

Back in Montana, there was trouble in the woods. My one-handed bro-ther had a bad accident. His dozer went off a cliff and he was sent straight to hell. Word from the lumber camp was he was likely drunk again. What a loser! Not everyone in the family could be site royalty. The news really didn't phase me because he was such an asshole. My only concern was trying to salvage my kingdom. When the letter arrived from the lumber company they said the corpse had not been recovered due to cost. Would I ever get some good news again? I was sitting in my Archie Bunker chair reflecting on this news when I heard this loud noise out front. It was a very loud engine and a lot of laughing. When I opened my door, all I saw was a large sport-ute driving through my lawn!! The passenger even managed to throw a rotten tomato at me, hitting me in the head! Fuck! It HAD to been those rotten Aussie's!! How deep did this conspiracy go?

I was busier than a bricklayer in Bagdad trying to fend off these attacks!

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