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When My Virgin Rectum Became a Sissy-Pussy and I Discovered the Woman Within Me.
Iíve been through two (2) divorces and several LTR heterosexual relationships. I was not gay or bi-sexual at the time. After my last relationship, I felt the urge to understand women better. I figured wearing feminine clothes may help facilitate my understanding, plus I would get to know myself a lot better.
I loved looking at lingerie catalogs, especially the thigh-high pages. I decided to buy a pair. When I first put them on, I became delirious with all those sensuous, erotic, feminine feelings they produced within me. Wearing lingerie quickly became addictive; I wanted more, much more!
I became bi-sexually curious (after watching some porn). When I eventually came across some she-male porn, it made me realize I was slowly, but naturally transforming to transgender. I have rather large, all natural tits! I wish I had discovered all this when I was young; I would have taken much better care of myself!
I began truly enjoying looking at other menís cocks & nut-sacs and began to wonder what it felt like when a woman put a manís penis in her mouth. Eventually, I began to wonder what it would be like when a man released his yucky, gooey sperm in a womanís mouth. I just had to know what it tasted like; so, one day after masturbating, I tasted my sperm. Wow, it had a sweet, exceptionally smooth texture (like very fine candy)!
Cross-Dressing worked extremely well seducing myself! I felt sexy wearing just the thigh-highs! The more lingerie I bought and wore, the more I began to feel and think like a woman. So, in private, I began dressing up completely, wearing a wig, make-up, dresses, shoes, jewelry, perfume, etc. Now I'm letting my hair grow so that I don't need a wig.
Unexpectedly, one side-effect that I began having was submissive feelings toward other men in general! I wanted and needed a man to love me. By now, I was ready to suck my first cock and feel his sperm gushing inside my mouth. Then the next question popped up; "What should I do once his sperm was in my mouth? Should I Spit it out...or...Swallow it?" I was willing to try it both ways to see which I liked the most; I tend to swallow.
Then the next big question came into focus; "What should I do if he wanted to breed me like a woman?" Oh My God, should I surrender my masculinity to another male so willingly and permit him to insert his erect, throbbing manhood deep inside my rectum and climax inside me? Good grief, decisions, decisions, decisions. Should I fuck on the first date? Now I understood some of the dilemmas women go through!
Should I require him to wear a condom or let him breed me bareback and risk getting pregnant....or a disease? Without ovaries, I didn't need to worry about getting pregnant. The disease was a different issue. Finally, I concluded that if I loved him, I would most likely let him breed me raw. I also postulated that I may never again be able to be a man! I was in the midst of life-altering decisions.
I had already pre-approved my decision about letting him cum in my mouth, I felt I owed it to myself to at least try it once to see if I liked it. Looking back, I realize I was inadvertently preparing myself to 'Go All The Way,' not only to suck another male's cock and let him sperm inside my mouth, but to let him mount and dominate me for his sexual gratification and consummate our relationship.
As a Gurl, I want a man who loves and cares as much for me as he does himself; someone who is safe to submit my body to for the remainder of my life. This realization has helped me understand women much, much better!
I know I would easily comply with anything he requested....maybe even up to....and including, letting him share me with another lonely male friend (who was without a woman). What if he wanted to watch as his friend fucked me? But then I thought. "Oh my God, What if he has several lonely friends who need sexual release?
I could easily conclude I had done something wrong or offended my significant other without him revealing he was angry with me. What if he threw a party so I had to be a 'maid' servant and service all of his friends during game nights or other special occasions/private parties? I might conclude that he was preparing to pimp me out to pay for wrecking his car or accidently burning down our house. How should I react if he videoed and sold the movies? That would mean I would be a porn star; the thought of being an exhibitionist was thrilling.
Yet even more, "What if I really liked letting various males breed me?" Would I be referred to as a Bitch-In-Heat? Would I become a slut, a whore, or possibly a prostitute? Would I be so submissive that I would actually let him share me with a variety of strange men or in group settings?" What if he decided to 'lease' me out by the day, the week, or by the month? After much internal debate, I decided; If I really Loved him, Then I would be a good Gurl and comply with his wishes!
In order to prepare myself for rear entry, I tried a dildo and to my amazement, it felt rather pleasurable! Immediately and obviously, I realized that I would always need to douche myself clean so that my new found pussy would smell good. It was then that I became aware that I could easily be persuaded to spread my thighs and let another male feminize me with his manhood! Soon, my rectum was destined to become a sissy pussy for the male cock.
Eventually, I sucked my first cock; he had so much sperm that I nearly drowned when he came in my mouth; then he told me to swallow his hot, sticky gobs of sperm, which I did! Taking that first load of sperm was such a rush. But then he said he had yet another load and decided to fuck me! I told him he needed to wear a condom and he promised he would. Then I obediently let him mount me; he planted another huge load of his hot seed deep inside my moist, tight, pink hole! Afterward, he made me suck his cock clean and pissed in my hair and said he was my Alpha male. Then he got dressed and left.
Once he had made his conquest, he refused to talk to, or see, me after that. He had used me like a slut, Although I didn't appreciate being used like a whore, I must confess I sure did love swallowing his sperm and letting him totally feminize me with his massive manhood up inside my newly discovered womb; it completely validated the woman within me when I lost my virginity to him!
Unfortunately, I soon discovered after he left, that he had removed the condom at some point during our intercourse. So I ended up taking two (2) raw loads of his sperm; one in each end. I stood up to put my panties on and could feel his sticky mess oozing out of my pussy-cunt, flowing down my legs, which caused my panties to stick to my skin. Now, my feminine nature craves sticky hot sperm all the time.
Others came and went; I thought I had found my Prince when one fellow used me several times one month before dumping me. Each time after being dumped, I felt like a tramp, but have learned to enjoy being feminized!
My quest trying to learn about and understand women better (by cross-dressing) has led me on a long and kinky trail, BUT, it has certainly opened my eyes and helped increase my understanding and appreciation what women go through. I believe it has made me a more caring, compassionate, and better lover for whomever I should happen to match-up with!