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By Celestial [Ignore] at 03,Apr,18 20:51   Pageviews: 34

When My Virgin Rectum Became a Sissy-Pussy and I Discovered the Woman Within Me.

Iíve been through two (2) divorces and several LTR heterosexual relationships. I was not gay or bi-sexual at the time. After my last relationship, I felt the urge to understand women better. I figured wearing feminine clothes may help facilitate my understanding, plus I would get to know myself a lot better.

I loved looking at lingerie catalogs, especially the thigh-high pages. I decided to buy a pair. When I first put them on, I became delirious with all those sensuous, erotic, feminine feelings they produced within me. Wearing lingerie quickly became addictive; I wanted more, much more!

I became bi-sexually curious (after watching some porn). When I eventually came across some she-male porn, it made me realize I was slowly, but naturally transforming to transgender. I have rather large, all natural tits! I wish I had discovered all this when I was young; I would have taken much better care of myself!

I began truly enjoying looking at other menís cocks & nut-sacs and began to wonder what it felt like when a woman put a manís penis in her mouth. Eventually, I began to wonder what it would be like when a man released his yucky, gooey sperm in a womanís mouth. I just had to know what it tasted like; so, one day after masturbating, I tasted my sperm. Wow, it had a sweet, exceptionally smooth texture (like very fine candy)!

Cross-Dressing worked extremely well seducing myself! I felt sexy wearing just the thigh-highs! The more lingerie I bought and wore, the more I began to feel and think like a woman. So, in private, I began dressing up completely, wearing a wig, make-up, dresses, shoes, jewelry, perfume, etc. Now I'm letting my hair grow so that I don't need a wig.

Unexpectedly, one side-effect that I began having was submissive feelings toward other men in general! I wanted and needed a man to love me. By now, I was ready to suck my first cock and feel his sperm gushing inside my mouth. Then the next question popped up; "What should I do once his sperm was in my mouth? Should I Spit it out...or...Swallow it?" I was willing to try it both ways to see which I liked the most; I tend to swallow.

Then the next big question came into focus; "What should I do if he wanted to breed me like a woman?" Oh My God, should I surrender my masculinity to another male so willingly and permit him to insert his erect, throbbing manhood deep inside my rectum and climax inside me? Good grief, decisions, decisions, decisions. Should I fuck on the first date? Now I understood some of the dilemmas women go through!

Should I require him to wear a condom or let him breed me bareback and risk getting pregnant....or a disease? Without ovaries, I didn't need to worry about getting pregnant. The disease was a different issue. Finally, I concluded that if I loved him, I would most likely let him breed me raw. I also postulated that I may never again be able to be a man! I was in the midst of life-altering decisions.

I had already pre-approved my decision about letting him cum in my mouth, I felt I owed it to myself to at least try it once to see if I liked it. Looking back, I realize I was inadvertently preparing myself to 'Go All The Way,' not only to suck another male's cock and let him sperm inside my mouth, but to let him mount and dominate me for his sexual gratification and consummate our relationship.

As a Gurl, I want a man who loves and cares as much for me as he does himself; someone who is safe to submit my body to for the remainder of my life. This realization has helped me understand women much, much better!

I know I would easily comply with anything he requested....maybe even up to....and including, letting him share me with another lonely male friend (who was without a woman). What if he wanted to watch as his friend fucked me? But then I thought. "Oh my God, What if he has several lonely friends who need sexual release?

I could easily conclude I had done something wrong or offended my significant other without him revealing he was angry with me. What if he threw a party so I had to be a 'maid' servant and service all of his friends during game nights or other special occasions/private parties? I might conclude that he was preparing to pimp me out to pay for wrecking his car or accidently burning down our house. How should I react if he videoed and sold the movies? That would mean I would be a porn star; the thought of being an exhibitionist was thrilling.

Yet even more, "What if I really liked letting various males breed me?" Would I be referred to as a Bitch-In-Heat? Would I become a slut, a whore, or possibly a prostitute? Would I be so submissive that I would actually let him share me with a variety of strange men or in group settings?" What if he decided to 'lease' me out by the day, the week, or by the month? After much internal debate, I decided; If I really Loved him, Then I would be a good Gurl and comply with his wishes!

In order to prepare myself for rear entry, I tried a dildo and to my amazement, it felt rather pleasurable! Immediately and obviously, I realized that I would always need to douche myself clean so that my new found pussy would smell good. It was then that I became aware that I could easily be persuaded to spread my thighs and let another male feminize me with his manhood! Soon, my rectum was destined to become a sissy pussy for the male cock.

Eventually, I sucked my first cock; he had so much sperm that I nearly drowned when he came in my mouth; then he told me to swallow his hot, sticky gobs of sperm, which I did! Taking that first load of sperm was such a rush. But then he said he had yet another load and decided to fuck me! I told him he needed to wear a condom and he promised he would. Then I obediently let him mount me; he planted another huge load of his hot seed deep inside my moist, tight, pink hole! Afterward, he made me suck his cock clean and pissed in my hair and said he was my Alpha male. Then he got dressed and left.

Once he had made his conquest, he refused to talk to, or see, me after that. He had used me like a slut, Although I didn't appreciate being used like a whore, I must confess I sure did love swallowing his sperm and letting him totally feminize me with his massive manhood up inside my newly discovered womb; it completely validated the woman within me when I lost my virginity to him!

Unfortunately, I soon discovered after he left, that he had removed the condom at some point during our intercourse. So I ended up taking two (2) raw loads of his sperm; one in each end. I stood up to put my panties on and could feel his sticky mess oozing out of my pussy-cunt, flowing down my legs, which caused my panties to stick to my skin. Now, my feminine nature craves sticky hot sperm all the time.

Others came and went; I thought I had found my Prince when one fellow used me several times one month before dumping me. Each time after being dumped, I felt like a tramp, but have learned to enjoy being feminized!

My quest trying to learn about and understand women better (by cross-dressing) has led me on a long and kinky trail, BUT, it has certainly opened my eyes and helped increase my understanding and appreciation what women go through. I believe it has made me a more caring, compassionate, and better lover for whomever I should happen to match-up with!

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By licksipsuckit [Ignore] at 04,Apr,18 07:23
that was a great rendition of how you found the full pleasures of the flesh, and yeah women get used and thrown out like trash all too often, leaving the good guys wondering why women all to readily hate men after being used and dumped for no apparent reason, well l guess they have their reasons, its the 'looking for the next best thing' theory l call it.. even when finding the best, they will all too easily skip thinking there is better ahead.. and some get their thrill from using and moving on, always finding new lovers to conquer and use.. and women never really work it out, they all to easily just shut down rather than feel like a used whore or tramp, l think men deal with that feeling much better, gurls like you seem to thrive on that humiliation, where as women take it as being put down and being worthless and unlovable..
well l did find this very interesting and l just one question, where was your first encounter, how and where did you meet the man that took your virginity, was it online or a dogging spot where many blokes meet and fuck?? l hope you keep up with the diary of thoughts and feeling along your journey of sexual enlightenment, as lm sure many blokes will read this and find their own inner female.. *lix*
By Celestial [Ignore] at 04,Apr,18 20:30

Thanks for your input. You made me realize something about myself (that's at least true in some cases) that I couldn't perceive; that I thrive on humiliation.

My first encounter was with a 'soul' **** from A4A. After conversing online for quite sometime (nearly six weeks), we decided to meet at a local restaurant. When we met, he was considerably quite taller than me; I had to look up to him. He sure knew how to sweet talk a Gurl out of her panties. My defenses evaporated and I knew I was toast.

Then our meeting moved out to his van in the parking lot. I was all putty in his hands, which were everywhere, all over my body! His hands were large; he knew precisely how to manhandle a Gurl like me. He fondled, pulled, twisted and pinched my nipples with very intuitive touch. Then I tried to suck his Black cock for a bit but my jaw popped; it was the size of a fire-hose and totally maxed out my mouth. His nuts were so big I couldn't even suck one of them inside my mouth. I remember thinking this guy is built like a Black-Angus Bull.

I had never done anything like this; I was petrified about doing this in public and getting caught. But it sure was a rush! By now, I wanted to be totally naked with him, so I invited him to follow me home. I could tell the way his cock moved when I mentioned it, that was exactly what he wanted me to do. So he accepted my offer.

Once we were home alone at my house, I commenced to removing his shoes and socks, then his trousers and boxer shorts; he removed his shirt and I folded everything up nice and neat. Then he told me to remove my blouse. When I did, my soft, supple, milky-white tits were completely exposed to him; I was embarrassed and covered them with my hands.

Then he told me to remove the rest of my clothes. As my hands moved down to strip, I saw him gazing at my beautifully exposed breasts. I became afraid but finished removing my clothes. I tried to cover my small penis with my hands and squeezed my arms together to try and conceal my titties; all that did was press them together creating cleavage. I began to wonder; What if he was planning to fuck me with his Big Black Uncircumcised Fire-Hose? I was convinced it would be very, very painful.

Now that I was totally naked with him, I felt vulnerable, somewhat helpless, and completely defenseless against him....in my own home. He sensed I was fearful, but he was in control. He laid down on the bed and told me to suck his cock; I immediately complied. As I was bent over sucking him, my titties were dangling down like the Udders of a cow. He began stroking my breasts as though he was milking me. I began to feel more like a Pure White Virgin Heifer. His Black Penis began swelling and got very big and real hard!

Then he told me he wanted to fuck me. Oh My God, he really WAS planning to put it in me! I was relieved when he promised to put just the tip of it in me. I said that would be okay but he would need to put on a condom. I laid down prone on my tummy, exposing my bare naked butt cheeks for his viewing pleasure; he slapped them for a bit, which startled me, even though it actually felt good! Then he mounted me. His Big Black-Angus Uncircumcised Cock began probing high up between my tightly closed, lubricated thighs. The strokes of his Big Black Fire-Hose began rubbing against my nut-sac and shriveled-up white sissy penis; it felt so wonderful even though my cock felt more like a slightly oversized clitoris.

I could feel my rectum beginning to relax as I became evermore convinced that he wasn't going to harm me. I kept squeezing my thighs in rhythm to his strokes. Eventually, one stroke pulled out just a bit farther than usual and when he began to enter back in between my thighs, it took a detour; I had squeezed out of sequence, steering the tip of his manhood just inside my rectum. I flinched to stop the invasion and abruptly, he stopped, but the tip was still barely inside me; Oh God, it felt so good. Again he said he wanted to fuck me. I thought he had already put on a condom before he started, so I meekly said, "Okay." Then very slowly, he began bumping, humping, and pumping my plump rump; each successive stroke inched deeper and deeper into my body....the feelings seemed to slither all the way into my mind (like a snake) which instinctly coiled itself around my brain; that's when I became aware it was actually his hand that had slipped under my arm and was mildly choking my throat; his other hand slipped up into my long hair, squeezing tightly, then pulling my head back.

At that very moment, it began to sink in that I had willingly (without any resistance) surrendered my masculinity to a Black-Angus Bull as he began to thoroughly feminize me as a Pure White Heifer. "Oh My God," I blurted out loud, whimpering like an innocent young gurl. "I'm letting a Black Man breed me like a woman; Oh My God, I'll never be a man again." At my outburst, he became more excited and his pace increased; he began relentlessly pumping me with full, deep strokes. I could feel his massive manhood throbbing within me. I kept trying to get my heart to beat in unison with each throb of his cock but it started skipping erratically. Each deep thrust made my liver quiver. My masculinity totally collapsed from within as I began to orgasm. He had fucked me into an orgasm without me touching my girly clit/penis.

Suddenly, his breathing changed! He began pumping me rapidly, fast as a rabbit. Several times, he repeatedly said, "Oh God, Baby, this is so good; Oh, you're so good, your pussy is so tight." Then with his last, extremely deep thrust, he collapsed on top of me. Yet I could feel his Big Uncircumcised Black-Angus Cock pulsing differently inside me. Then I could feel his hot, sticky semen gushing forth like a volcano, filling every crevice within me with his immaculate hot sperm. He had consummated our union. It felt so right to be Black Balled and let this Black Male feminize me. Before he pulled out and left, he wanted me to lick and suck his cock clean; I obediently complied. I didn't realize until afterward (when he left) that he had failed to put the condom on. When I stood up, I could barely walk and wobbled around. I could feel his massive wad of sperm oozing out and flowing down my legs. Once I put my panties back on, his sperm was like glue causing them to stick to my skin.

That's the day I was first feminized and became pure sissy-pussy for Dark Meat. I only wish it could become a regular religious ritual, performed on an alter at my church every week, in full view of the congregation.

By chubbs42dd [Ignore] at 04,Apr,18 04:51
I can see a rather wonderful person coming from those words and now I'm hoping you find someone who understands, accepts and loves you unconditionaly.
Good luck on that

Ps. I can see your point about easy reading...
By Celestial [Ignore] at 04,Apr,18 05:29
Thank you chubbs42dd, you're very kind.

I was hoping you could see my point about making it easier for the reader.
By chubbs42dd [Ignore] at 04,Apr,18 05:35

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