23 September, 2022- 2154 hours EST- New York Fire Rescue Engine 54, Truck 6, Battalion Chief 4

Captain Rick Sanchez was on the radio inside of engine 54 advising they were arriving on site with the rest of the company. The ring out came into the station as a man down at the Red Roof Inn, man screaming for help. History being the great prognosticator, Captain Sanchez assumed it was another loser junky that had overdosed. The Red Roof Inn was a piece of shit motel and they had been there so many times over the years. As a precaution, the fire department had requested the precinct to respond. One can never be too careful with dealing with junkies, white trash, and other human vermin. Captain Sanchez just hoped the police arrived soon.

Inside Room 432- 2156 hours

Just like a US Army helicopter in Mogadishu, we had a Black Hawk Down. A well known botched abortion had crashed landed on the bed, on his belly, with Pa-Freddy on top of him...and inside of him. He was barely breathing and was diaphoretic. Weighing in at nearly 300 pounds and morbidly obese, that well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles had no chance to escape Pa-Freddy's dick. He was screaming for help when he heard the fire trucks pull in, and the air brakes making their usual noise. There was a lot of commotion and he could hear yelling and radio traffic from their Motorola portable radios. He also heard another siren and new by the hyper-yelp tone it was the police. Being a white trash lump, the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles, was all too familiar with the police.

Marlo Jenkins was the night weekend manager at the Red Roof fuckup and met the fire department on the 4th floor. He inserted the key card, but being this was a shit stain neighborhood, the extra lock was engaged. Captain Sanchez figured as much and anticipated the ghetto lock. Firefighter 3, Ricardo Matzamata had his ax and Haligant tool at the ready and easily broke the lock. If there was one thing fireman are good for, its wrecking things!

24 years on the job and Captain Sanchez had never seen anything like this before. The room was filled with fast food bags, junk food, and various cheap liquor. Mostly the malt liquor favored by hood rats and other miscreants. Captain Sanchez radioed back to send more men and to have Truck 6 position their ladder off the truck to the open breeze way. The paramedics on the truck bought up their defibrillator kit, drug box, and other gear to the room. They immediately took vitals, established an airway, and started an IV, D5W with lactate ringers. No one really gave a shit about the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles, at the moment. However, that changed when they realized Pa-Freddy was still inside him!

Captain Sanchez and Chief R Fitzgerald made the command decision to get them both to hospital, as is. Pa-Freddy was locked inside the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles, and the cheap lube they used literally turned into super glue. What a fucking disaster was the over-reaction from the firemen. As the ambulance arrived downstairs, the brave firemen from Truck 6 rigged what really looked like something to lift an elephant to get these two down to the ambulance. All hooked in, they were lowered down like cargo heading to a distant land.

The ambulance workers stood there with their jaws dropped. This was going to go into the record books for sure. It was total chaos as the police arrived and surveyed the room for evidence of a crime. Officer Rosentein recognized the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles. He had been arrested several times for anti-semitic rants at the local food store. After looking through the room, they found the Viagra. But it was not actually Viagra. The officers had seen this before. It was a fake pill purchased online and made in India. That cunt, Pa-Freddy, was lucky to be alive after swollowing these pills. He would also be arrested for importing a banned schedule 2 drug... if he survived the trip in the ambulance. In lab testing, the fake Viagra was found to have pieces of cockroaches, human feces, and other contaminents found in a sterile Indian lab.

Loaded in like cattle, the ambulance left the Red Roof Inn code 3 to the hospital. Enroute to hospital, the crew had radioed in their status and the hospital was ready. Mostly to chuckle at these two mongoloids, but there were some actual persons that would help. Dr. Arnold Beck, ER attendant, was waiting in trauma 3 with his team. Even though they were advised of the situation, it was a sight to see when they rolled in. Stacked like dead Russian soldiers fucked off by superior Ukrainian forces.

First up, they assessed airways again and got new vitals, and started fluids for the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles. He had been down for quite a long time. Next priority was to separate the stuck pigs. Dr. Beck ordered an X-ray to see what he was working with behind the scenes. There was a lot of weight and a lot of rolls, it was impossible to see the true nature of the problem.
X-rays were taken and Dr. Beck looked at the film in horror. He could see a flaccid knob inside the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles's ass and some unidentified "fluid" on his lips, but there was the mystery mass of liquid stuck inside the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles.

After wrestling the hogs around, Dr. Beck and his team, were able to penetrate the off brand lube, and create a release of pressure by inserting a needle into the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles's ass. There was an awful sound, like air coming from a tire and a very bad stench. Next, 7 orderlies pulled Pa-Freddy off and out of the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles. Once he was "released" from Sir-Skittles's ass, the mysterious liquid exploded. At least a gallon of rotten beer piss was released. Apparently, Pa-Freddy had been using the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles, as his toilet for several hours. The entire ER staff was appalled and disgusted. The well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles, was a medical mess, but he was going to be okay just like a cockroach after a nuclear war. Pa-Freddy was rushed off to critical care where he would be treated for a heart attack, diabetes, crabs, and other ailments. Last we heard, he was going to survive his encounter with the well known botched abortion, Sir-Skittles,

Sir-Skittles knew the police and hospital billing staff would be paying a visit to his bed. He gathered his things and quickly left the emergency room. He left his dignity behind as he made his way to his cold water flat in the Bronx to continue his miserable life.