Well i was 21 lived in a small town on a farm . My father and i were very close we hunted together wotked the farm together . But my attraction to men was so strong . I metva guy who lived about 2 hours away from me he was a power lifter with huge muscles i was so in love with him we dated for about 6 months . I would drive out to see him every weekend . I would tell my family that i was dating a woman . One day i got home from a hard days work and my older **** called me and said that i had to get out of there cause dad was on his way home and he was going to kick my ass . She said drive over to her house. When i got there she was acting really nervous i said what is going on why does dad want to kick my ass . And she said i know about you and jeff. And i was shocked but kinda releifed all at the same time . She said thatvdad had hired a private investigator to follow me thinking i was trafficing drugs . But to his supprise i was gay . Next thing i know her door came open and it was mybmom she started crying when she saw me . I said what are you crying for im still the same person . She said i know im juat worried your going to get aids. Keep in mind this was when aids was first coming out . But she said she loved me and it didnt matter who i slept with . We are so very close now more close then we had ever been she got mevthrew the hardest time of my life . As far as my father we still have not spoke it has been 19 years since i have seen or talked to him . Which still bothers me at times but i have my mom and my sisters in my life and we are very close so yes it is a hard thing to do i did loose my father but gained a wonderful relationship with my mother . She is my rock and i love her dearly . I am 40 years old now and have my own farm and i turnedvout just fine . It is something that is hard to do and there might be some dislike in the family but it is worth being out because holding all that in was the hardest thing anyone coto do .