A few years ago I was in the ER for a broken arm, a younger dude in the cubicle next to me, kept screaming and walking around all agitated. I noticed that he seemed to be sporting a boner, but with what appeared to be a flashlight sticking out. Any who, dumb fuck had did a shit ton of viagra and some drugs and couldn't get his little pork and beaner to go down. His parents had already brought him in for priapism and he had to have his **** drained. Guess he was trying to avoid it a 2nd time, but dumb fuck got the idea to stick his tic tac into a flashlight with vaseline as he did not have a fleshlight to help jerk off, and it got stuck. So he was screaming cuz they were going to saw off the flashlight and do another draining procedure. The nurses were being quite loud. It was fucking hilarious.

I've done my best to avoid putting my dick in stupid places (aside from in the pussies of a few gals who ended-up being girlfriends from hell!) That's because when I was around 7, I put it in a really stupid place!

I had been giving myself "the special feeling" as I called orgasms back then, since I discovered that my cock was good for more than peeing back when I was 5. Soon, I became curious about other ways of "getting the feeling" besides rubbing it.

Humping pillows was already getting old, and our tub didn't have a shower. At that age, it was only around 1.5" long x 1" in girth when fully erect. Way too small for the vacuum cleaner hose - yes, I had already tried that!

I found a small glass jar with a neck that looked about the right diameter. So I put my little softie in there. Wow, that felt GREAT! WAY better than my fingers or the pillow!

Only problem was that I got hard instantly, and I hadn't thought about "expansion"! I couldn't pull it out!! I struggled with that for a minute or two, but that just made it get even harder! Fortunately, I got scared enough that it went soft within a few minutes & I was able to get it out!

What scared me the most was the thought of having to go to mom or dad & explain my predicament! That little incident taught me to avoid sticking my unit in stupid places!!