I am again considering labels. Gay, straight, bisexual, whatever.

I have had countless sexual encounters with both men and women. I'm bisexual? I'm not comfortable with it–even though others get openly angry at me for identifying as straight. Like REALLY angry.

I get where some of them are coming from. I get all the benefits of being outwardly straight in a very biased society, even while I secretly reap the benefits of sex with men. I totally do get this. But here's the thing: It's not like I'm Mike Pence. I mean I openly and vociferously advocate for gay rights and all the rest of it. My own daughter is happily married to a transsexual woman. I love them both and would defend them to the ends of the earth. So it's not like I'm hypocritical, like the "lifelong bachelor" Lindsay Graham or something.

Also, there's this: I'm not sexually attracted to men in any way. At all. Like, for reals, not attracted to men. I never see a guy walking down the street and think to myself "I'd like to do with him!" Never. In fact the idea kind of weirds me out. I do, however, have this experience with females 100 times a day. I think this matters. After all, if a guy says to you "I'm bisexual" you naturally think he's sexually attracted to both men and women. I mean that is literally the first thing you think. And it's not true of me at all.

In that sense I am quite straight. Sexually attracted to women but not to men. And yet... After I divorced my wife of 15 years I discovered via Craig's List that there are lots of men who would love to suck a straight guy's dick with no reciprocation. Something about them intrigued me. It's fun to be fetishised. They love cock. In ways that women just don't. So eventually I gave it a try. At first it was very tense and weird. Nothing about it was fun or exiting. In fact it was mildly nauseating. But after the first minute... after the guy's sucked on my dick for a while... wow. The physical sensations were so good that I decided to get over my "straightness" and just push through the awkwardness and just enjoy.

It's gotten easier since those first few times. But I still do feel that awkwardness. I just made a decision to not care about that in order to get the pleasure of a greedy, talented blowjob. The kind that only men can give. I've been doing it ever since, now 15 years on.

So am I bisexual? I guess in one sense I am. I do sexual things with men (letting them suck my cock). But in another, and I would argue important sense, I'm straight. I'm only sexually attracted to women. Would I suck your cock in return? Maybe. I have done it once or twice. But the thing is, it does nothing for me. It doesn't excite me and I have no real desire to do it. I could suck your dick for 10 minutes and not get an erection of my own. Seriously.

All of which leaves me thinking. Gay, straight, bisexual... Maybe the world isn't as simple as all that. Maybe I'm just straight but opportunistic. But here's the thing. It does make me think that no one should ever tell someone else how they should identify themselves. Ever. So just stop.