Who would like to see my genius at work? You, there! Step right up and listen to this fantastic idea. I'm going to make a rival website to this one and I'm going to call it...

ObserveMyPenis.Institute

And that domain is available! How lucky is that? Anyway, the site will be very similar to this one, only the videos will actually play. Free memberships! Who's in?

Of course the institute would sponsor an annual symposium. All members in good standing would be able to attend for free. At it, prominent..uh... members will be invited to present their penises in person...so we could all, um, observe them.

How's that for a slice of fried gold? Booyah!