My last blog entry was about a situation with a good friend/sexbuddie of mine. /blogs/43166.html

My reaction to that situation was influenced by the fact that i have a form of autism. That makes it difficult for me to read situations and persons sometmes.

The fact that he reacted differently than normal; we always have some one on one time with eachother where ever we meet and this time that didn't happen, got me confused
Sitting on my own made it worse for me, i didn't read the situation right and i felt rejected.

I never told him about my autism before, now i have. He understands my reaction better now, and says he will be more considerate about my feelings.

He appologised for pushing me sometimes, but i tld him that was a good thing. i sometimes freeze in certain situations and having someone to give me a little push helps to to do more things.

I told him he wasn't aware of this but in the past he has helped me in taking steps i wouldn't have taken otherwise.
I can't remember how many times i was in a sauna or club with a guy in front of me and i didn't know what to do, and him grabbing my head and pushing it between the guys legs. Or when i just stood there looking at him fucking a guy and just grabbing me and getting me involved.

He always said you got to dare more, and i am glad he now knows why i didn't and understands why.

Him pushing me has helped me in other ways too, i have started conversations with total strangers, something i never dared to do before, even when strangers started talking it was difficult for me

I will probably never be like my sexbuddie going to strangers in a sauna asking to have have sex with them.
But letting a stranger know i am interrested in them and not wait until they come to me, like i do now,is something i feel i will do soon !