A father decides it's time to teach his son how to pee standing up...
So he takes him into the bathroom, stands him in front if the toilet and says, "alright, son, this is really quite simple. All you have to do is follow seven easy steps, and if you recite them out loud at first it'll help you remember them. They go like this:
1. Open your pants.
2. Whip out your cock.
3. Pull back your foreskin, (this step is important, son, since you don't want to spray pee all over the place!)
4. Pee, aiming carefully.
5. Slide your foreskin back down.
6. Tuck it away comfortably.
7. Do up your pants!

As long as you follow these steps, you'll be peeing like a big boy! Now, have you understood all those steps?" The son, beaming, replies, "yes, dad!" and recites and demonstrates each one perfectly. The dad is pleased and they continue with their day. Later that same week, however, the dad was walking past the bathroom, and heard his son's voice repeating:

"three, five, three, five, three, five, three, five..."