Testing the Waters
(mid 1980s)

It was the summer before I left for college, I was at my parent’s house on Hilton Head Island. I had been looking for new adventures I could bring to life around the house. We had an outdoor shower next to the utility yard. It was uncovered because it was intended to be used by people in swimsuits rinsing off the sand when returning from the beach (common in resort communities like ours). But I fantasized about having a proper shower outdoors. This came together one morning after I spent some time lying in bed, revving myself up while waiting to hear my parents leave for work. When I knew they both had gone, I got out of bed, naked as always, grabbed the soap and shampoo from the bathroom and walked right out the back door and around the corner to the side of the house where the shower was located.

After rebounding from my experience at the hotel (my blog post, "A Cheer for Confidence"), I was in a special mood, and brimming with confidence. I did not bring a towel, or even peek out the windows to be sure the coast was clear. I just bravely walked out with purpose. I knew the shower could not be seen by the neighbors for the trees, and was blocked from the street because of the walls around the utility yard. That is where the trash cans were hidden behind little walls to keep the resort looking nice. I took a short shower, half hoping and half afraid of being discovered. It was exciting, but it did not last as long as I wanted because the water was just too cold.

Shortly after dripping my way back into the house, I heard the garbage truck. My heart raced. I had given no thought to that it was trash day. We were not allowed to put the cans out near the street. The garbage men had to retrieve the trash from the utility yards. If I had taken my shower a bit later, they may have caught me. Most likely I would have still heard the truck over the running water. But this started an idea that I knew right then I would make happen.

I was so impatient for the next trash collection day. My excitement was building the whole week. I did not think the men would report me. And if they did, I would tell my mom that I had so much sand in my bathing suit that I had to take it off, and I thought I would be safe with the reasonably private shower.

Knowing I would be just around the corner from the trash cans, only a few feet from the men, naked and soapy wet – I was dizzy with excitement all week. And unlike some of my other ideas, I knew I would go through with it. Not even the cold water would deter me. I planned to pretend I could not hear them because of the water and would just keep showering when they saw me. My biggest fear was that they would duck away with embarrassment and not help my fantasy come true.

When the day finally arrived, I waited at the window for much longer than necessary in case they came early. I heard the truck when it was far down our street, and I ran to position. I don’t remember the water being as cold as before. I showered for what seemed like forever before I could tell they were at our house. I didn’t want to look. I thought they would be more likely to watch if they thought I didn’t know they were there. So, I would try to catch sly glimpses in their direction. I saw no sign of them.

After a while, I decided it had been too long. They must have turned back when they heard the shower. I started to look up and caught sight of a pair of boots near the door to the utility yard. They were pointed right at me. He was so close! Quickly looking way, I was hit with a pounding pressure in my head. I thought I was going to burst. I kept showering, and for some reason I stopped breathing and had to focus just to catch my breath. It was so intense. With no doubt he had seen me, I felt on the edge of an orgasm, but feared I would pass out.

Soon I heard the cans being moved. I felt the pressure subside a bit. They had caught me, but they are just continuing with their job. I started to catch my breath, but my head was still pounding. I thought to peek up a bit more to see them taking the cans to their truck. But as I started to look, I could see he was still there. Thrilling for sure, he was only seven or eight feet away. But this was the first time I thought it could go much different than I had planned. What if he enjoyed the show too much and decided to do something about it? I was filled with so many conflicting emotions.

As I was wondering what to do now, I realized he was gone. I looked up farther to watch them leave but saw no one. I realized this was my chance to retreat, but I couldn’t. The overwhelming satisfaction was more powerful than the fear. I didn't want it to end. So, I stood on my tippy toes to look over the walls. He was farther away now but looking right at me. I locked eyes with him. I let out a little involuntary screech and covered my mouth. He looked off to the side a bit and put up both his hands as if I had pulled a gun on him. Neither of us moved for a moment. He seemed more scared than me. Then his partner came up the walk returning the cans. They could not see much of me now as I was tucked up tight to the little wall I was peeking over. Not knowing what to do next, I just smiled at them. The one smiled back with eyebrows raised, but kept his hands up. The partner just kept looking down and shook his head while replacing the cans. I wanted them to know it was okay. So, I said, “Thank you.” and they both backed away while waving their hands – not in the way of goodbye, but more as if to shoo me away. They were both Mexican, but probably spoke English, although they said nothing.

It was clear by their expressions that this was a confusing but positive encounter. I think they were gesturing away any guilt on their part, or perhaps suggesting I should not be out here like this. After they turned and moved farther down the walk, I realized this went better than I had hoped. I was not ready for it to end. Just before they reached their truck, I stepped out from behind the wall, in case they looked back one more time. They did. I struck a little pose and gave a cute wave. The more engaging one raised his hand to his forehead and went to his truck.

I turned off the water and scurried around the corner and into the house. I watched from the front window to see the truck continuing down the street, but I could not see much of them. I dropped to the floor and rolled around on the soft white carpet, overwhelmed with excitement and pleasure. It could not have gone better.

I wondered if I should do it again next week. That thought lasted for a few days, but I decided not to push my luck. Probably best they thought it was an accident. I was realizing my antics could give someone the wrong idea and get me in trouble. Although, when lying in bed each morning, I would still fantasize about Tom Selleck – or now sometimes a couple of sanitation workers…

It is rare to have all go as well or better than planned. And even though I would go on to much more daring and intense adventures, I still think of this experience as one of the best ever.