Acting Up
(mid 1980s)

I was disappointed that I had been making no progress toward my goal of acting. My first summer back home from college was spent working at the ice cream shop, and other distractions. And I had signed up for too many classes and activities during my semesters at Florida to find time for performing. So, as my second summer back home from college began, I was determined to make time for auditioning. It did not go as well as I had hoped, but I did land a small part in a production at a community theater. I was also back at the ice cream shop, but I was able to work my schedule around the show.

The play featured mostly older women struggling with their husband’s philandering. I played a young woman who was the focus of their hatred. (Somewhat ironic when considering my last summer at home, although I don’t believe my affair was ever discovered.) My part in the play was a small one with only a few scenes. But it was fun for me. I got to feel pretty and desired while playing up my sexuality. I had several good lines in the final act where I appeared wearing a towel. And as you can imagine, I made something of this.

My character entered this scene in a cute tennis outfit, just back from a match with one of the husbands. (I loved my little skirt, and this began my wearing tennis skirts often for many years.) In the scene, after announcing that I was off to have a shower, I had to exit stage left and return about 2 minutes later in a towel to finish the act. This was not exactly a quick change, but it was too much to make it to the dressing room and back. So, I would change into the towel just off stage in the wing. I had a hook, small light, and mirror where I would prepare. No one was around when I changed, except one young man, Tim, who had to be there in position to work the curtain at the end of the show, and for curtain calls.

Actors are generally pretty free and liberal. In the theater, it is common for the performers to change clothes in front of each other. We all just want attention. But Tim was new to the theater. He was shy and reserved. I sensed the awkwardness during the rehearsal when I first changed into my towel. He seemed to be making an effort to not look directly at me, but I believed he was making the most of his peripheral vision, as was I.

I was not naked. I kept on my panties and bra, only pulling my arms from under the shoulder straps and tucking them in so I would appear to have nothing on under the towel. But I wondered if this boy had ever seen a girl in her underwear before. From the time I spent around Tim, I had come to believe he was most likely a virgin. And even though I knew he was trying to watch me undress, I also thought he was gay.

As the cast and crew grew friendly, spending a lot of time together at and away from the show, we began to learn about each other. At one point, unrelated to the show, I had to make a long drive out of town. I dreaded this because I had never done that alone before. For this, Tim gave me a mixtape that he made specifically for me. It was a cassette tape with both sides filled with songs to which he had clearly put good thought and effort. That is when I realized he was not gay. He had a crush on me. Others started to make comments to me. I remember a girlfriend from the cast told me that, “Tim has the hots for you.”

Through rehearsals I had been enjoying that Tim was discreetly watching me change into my towel. I had begun to imagine the fun it would be to escalate things. What if I were to go without my bra? I thought this would surprise, and hopefully please, Tim. Also, I knew it would be thrilling for me to be on stage in this way under my towel. But now knowing how Tim feels, I worried it may be unkind to tease him too much.

I wasn't interested in anything more than a little fun with Tim. He was nice and cute, but very young. Looking back now, the difference in age between us was not that much - just a few years. But at that time, I thought of him as just a boy.

After several performances in front of a lively audience, I was feeling even sexier in my role. This grew my desire to take things further. My selfishness helped convince me that Tim would want to see more, even if I did not want a relationship with him. So, during our first Sunday matinee, I exited the stage for my quick change and took off my top, skirt, socks, and shoes, as usual. Then I glanced over at Tim who was obviously pretending to be occupied with his curtain ropes, and I removed my bra.

Through rehearsals I had learned that I didn’t need to rush. I used to get into my towel quickly, but then I would have more than a minute to wait for my cue. So, now standing in the wing of the stage in only my panties, I fixed my lipstick in the mirror and delayed putting on my towel until I had no doubt Tim had seen me. This gave me a good thrill, but I was still surprised how much my blood was pumping after I wrapped my towel around me and took the stage. I had not had any trouble with the towel before, but now I was very aware that I was in this condition while in front of a few hundred people. I was nervous but loving it.

At the end of each show, I had the choice to change back into my clothes or stay in the towel for my curtain call (when we take our bows). Tim would still be in his place to work the curtain, but the wings by this point were filled with the rest of the cast getting into position for their curtain calls. I felt very sexy taking my bow (I would actually curtsy), in my towel. I knew it would also be exciting for me to change in the wings with more people around, but so far, I always stayed in my towel until after the show and then I would carry my clothes back to the dressing room to change.

To this point, no one but Tim knew what I wore under my towel. That had apparently become something of a curiosity for the cast and crew. I learned this one night at a restaurant after the show. After having a few drinks, the lead male actor, who I thought very handsome, called across the table to me asking what I wore under that towel. The table fell silent as all eyes turned to me. I was not expecting the question but knew what everyone wanted to hear. I dramatically announced, “Absolutely nothing at all!”

They laughed, but then I noticed a few looks that suggested some really wanted to know. So, I said, “Just ask Tim.” We all looked to him. His face turned red, and his palms turned up. After more laughter the conversation moved on. But Tim and I locked eyes for a bit, and he grinned. I returned a cheeky smile.

For the next few performances, I went without the bra. Tim seemed to relax some, and I noticed him looking my way more. This helped keep things exciting. Not that being on stage in just a towel and panties would ever get boring for me, but as it had become a bit routine, I wanted more. With only a few shows left, I was determined to take things further. I had decided to really do it and go completely nude under my towel.

When the time came, I stood again in just my panties, with my attention divided between Tim and the mirror. I was working hard to build my courage enough. I was all nerves. When I get like this, I tend to giggle and fidget - kind of a nervous little jig. Several times I began to pull my panties down and then tightly up again as I chickened out.

I am sure I looked quite silly to Tim. He must have wondered, ‘What is wrong with this half naked girl who is clumsily struggling with her panties while hopping around silently laughing at herself in the mirror?’. I was asking myself the same thing. Any chance to appear sexy and bold was lost, at least for the moment.

My next idea was to ‘misplace’ my towel. Before the next show, I moved it from the hook and placed it on the other side of where Tim would be. When the time came, I stripped down to my panties then feigned panic as I couldn’t find my towel. I saw it near Tim and scurried over while urgently whispering for him to hand it to me. He did this as I stood very close to him quietly apologizing while fumbling with the towel.

After that show, I asked Tim if I had embarrassed him. He shook his head. I asked if he had ever seen a girl naked before. He nodded, but I didn’t believe him. He was clearly stunned and couldn’t even verbalize an answer. This was very arousing for me. I had many times felt desired by men. But I had rarely been in a power position. With Tim, I felt like the older experienced one. I was young myself, but this made me feel like Mrs. Robinson. A new experience, and I was loving it. Tim seemed so innocent and infatuated, and I was in control.

I asked him if I was as pretty as the other girls he had seen. Finally, he answered with words that I was the prettiest girl he knew. As his flattery hit me, I started to wonder if he was smarter and more experienced than I imagined, but I kept going with the fantasy I had created. If he had asked me out, I probably would have said no, but I was a little disappointed that he hadn’t tried.

Our last weekend of performances was the most fun. I made more of a show of changing, even doing a little burlesque style dance in the mirror while putting on my towel. Tim was now watching me with fewer reservations. He would smile at me, and I would blow him a kiss before taking the stage.

My increasing antics had filled me with vampish daring. And as our last performance was upon us, I finally decided to really go for it. While changing during our last show, I surrendered to my overwhelming urge. When down to just my panties, before putting on my towel, I sashayed over to Tim and whispered in his ear, “Can you keep a secret?”. Without waiting for an answer, I moved my thumbs under the lacey elastic waistband, and slid out of my panties. I paused there to give Tim, and myself, time to take in the moment. He was completely shocked, and pleasantly so - but probably not as much as me. Returning to my mirror, I curtsied to him before wrapping my towel around me. Then I skipped over and gave him a quick little kiss before taking the stage.

I was so overloaded with endorphins while on stage with nothing between me and all of these people but this loosely fixed towel. My nerves encouraged me to keep a tight grip on the towel through the whole scene, while distracted by my thoughts of the view that may be afforded by the orchestra seats. I had considered this when in my panties, and enjoyed the ambiguousness. But now I found it hard to concentrate on my lines while aware I may be offering a show far more explicit than anyone expected. This was not my best performance, at least not for the paying audience, but this one was more for me.

After the show, on my way to the dressing room, I was hoping to see the actor who had asked what I wore under my towel. But his curtain call was after mine, so I had to wait backstage for him to pass. When he did, I opened my towel such that he could see only the side of my body, but enough to know I was really naked under the towel. I had a great time with this. Word spread, and by the cast party everybody was talking of my hijinks. These were fun people, and it was all lighthearted. This was the kind of thing for which I had been looking. I loved performing in the theater and getting away with my shenanigans. I really felt like this was where I belonged.

Tim never asked me out. I think he was too intimidated, or at least that is what I told myself. I tried to imagine things from Tim’s perspective. For all the times I fantasized about a guy, and honestly… a few girls, seldom if ever had things gone the way I dreamed they would. I was perhaps a bit full of myself, but I loved thinking I could give something to Tim that maybe came close to his fantasy.

I know if he was more forward, I would have resisted. Human behavior is often quite strange – and I think particularly my own. But I have had such a beautiful time exploring it all.
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The attached pictures include my headshot from that time, but are otherwise not from that show, just a few taken that year (and one of me in a towel that was taken years later, but seems fitting to attach here). I like to provide something of myself to help set the scene of the stories. Please forgive the terrible condition of the pictures. They were salvaged from the mess hurricane Charley made of my house in Orlando in 2004, when much of my collection was lost.