A city girl moved to my hometown and befriended me when we were 8. We grew up together, went through a lot together, and she remained one of my best friends until senior year of high school when we joined very different social circles and finally drifted apart. I haven't spoken to her since before we graduated. I honestly don't mourn our friendship, but I cherish our past deeply. As far as I know, there's no hard feelings between us. That is, as long as she doesn't find out what I did this year.

She has a brother five years our senior, and I had a huge crush on him for my entire childhood. I would hope and pray to see him every time I came over, then I'd be almost too nervous to speak to him. I never admitted it to anyone in our friend group because I was scared they'd tell his sister.

For years he was the subject of my sexual fantasies. Once during a New Year's Eve sleepover (I think I was thirteen or fourteen then), I was changing in their laundry room when I came across a pile of his dirty clothes. I tried on his pajama pants first, and then I did something incredibly daring and stuffed a pair of his boxer briefs in my backpack to take home. I got away with it and I was elated. I wore them to school several times, getting super excited by the fact that I'd done something so naughty and my friend had no clue I was standing right next to her wearing her brother's underwear. I've only admitted this irl to a couple of really close friends. I'm honestly still quite proud of it.

Anyway, this guy was like my dirty little secret, and sleeping with him was nothing more than a pipe dream, especially since I was much younger than him and I was a pretty awkward-looking girl at the time. But around the time I turned sixteen, the dynamic suddenly changed. I was in the second half of puberty and becoming more attractive as well as more confident. I started working in food service and in doing that, I quickly picked up on the signs that men give off when they're attracted to me. I began noticing it with my friend's brother one day, and I was stupefied. He'd always been incredibly kind to me when we were kids, which is one of the reasons I liked him so much. But now, he was looking at me differently. I could see it in his eyes, his body language. Again, though, I dismissed this because I thought I could never do that to my best friend.

But a couple years pass, now she's in a different province for post secondary, but her brother stayed behind in our town and now lives by himself in their childhood home. He comes into my workplace sometimes for food, there's palpable tension between us but I still put it on the back burner.

Until I matched with him on Tinder in January of this year. After a bit of hesitant messaging, we cut to the chase and agreed to meet up. Turns out our physical compatibility was off the charts. He ended up taking over my friend's room after she moved out, since it's the bigger one. Let me tell you, getting fucked by my ex best friend's brother in her old bedroom has been one of the sexiest things I've experienced so far. I met up with him again after that, then again, and again. We were regular fuck buddies for about five months, until I finally ended up breaking things off because I was catching feelings despite our agreement not to become too emotionally invested. Our last night together was perfect and he was understanding and respectful when I explained to him why I couldn't see him anymore.

We still exchange the odd meme on instagram, but that's all there is now. I miss his huge cock, I miss his handsome face, I miss his house... Hell, I miss his cats even though they always made me sneeze. Every now and then I'm tempted to reach out to him for one more hookup. I suppose it's not too late, as long as he's still single which I'm almost certain he will be. Until then, I have his nudes saved in my locked folder to come back to. Also, I still have his underwear!