Having difficulty picking up chicks on site? Are all of your attempts to invite the little lady of your online fantasies to the party in your pants ,leaving you at home Saturdays nights watching reruns on lifetime TV?


Well not anymore. Here are 10 surefire tips brought to you by the ladies of SYC to help you get that gal peeling down her panties and gobbling your knob in seconds.


1. Randomly send her a pic of your heat-seeking moisture missile. Don't bother to say hi or compliment her on her pic's. Make sure your picture was taken in the bathroom whilst sitting on the toilet. Zoom real close, and blur it a bit. This is sure to get her attention.


2. Compliment her. Nothing shows how sincere you are other than telling her that her Penis Fly Trap looks like the fridge scene from Ghostbusters, smells like a tuna refinery, or is humongous.


3. Completely ignore her Profile. Why waste precious minutes looking to see if she even has a picture posted? I mean cut to the chase and just like tell her she has the most beautiful Tampon Tunnel you have ever seen. Who cares if you've actually seen it.


4. Tell her how much you want to squash her waffle. This is pretty self explanatory.


5. Ask for more pictures. Cause like the 86 other close ups of her Grandest Canyon can never be enough.


6. Write a really heartfelt message about how sexy, and beautiful she is. Tell her she's the sexiest thing you have ever seen on here, and how you want to spend hours smashing the fart strings off her ass. Make sure you copy and paste it to 10 other women while your at it.


7. Tell her that her pictures are the greatest thing since spray cheese, then follow it up by asking her to rate your custard launcher/or what she thinks of your piss weasel. This will drive her completely mad with desire and make her want to wrap her legs around your face like a scarf. Trust me, us bitches just love being asked to rate us some chub.


8. Tell her how small your ex thought/said your disco stick is. Every women secretly just like totally wants to stroke your ego and like tell you that's its not small, your body is just too big in comparison.


9. DON'T, and I mean DON'T post any pictures on your profile. Less is more, keep her guessing.


10. Talk crap about the other females you talk to. All women love being catty, and nothing strokes our ego like a man bad mouthing the women he just got off with 5 minutes ago.