This is a major problem for people, or BOTH sexes, in middle-age and late middle-age. One partner rejects the other sexually, and often emotionally as well. I know of several cases close to me and in every case the physical marriage/relationship is over and all attempts by the interested partner to resusitate the relationship invariably fail.


I have come to the conclusion that this huge problem, which gets little attention or help, has nothing to do with the actual flow, or lack, of hormones so much as the basic attitiude to sex of the person concerned.


People take up with the oposite sex for all sorts of reasons and sex is just one of many. Relatively few people actuall embark on relationships because thy deeply love or care for the other person, WHATEVER they actuall claim or say at teh time. When sex stalls they are quite ready to see it disappear because they basically don't care how their partner feels!...that's the sad truth!


In relationships where there is a REAL emotional bond, any problem such as a loss of sexual ability or urge is treated by both partners as a common problem and they combine to find an answer just as they always have with every problem during their lives together.


So, the sad truth is that if your woman is no longer interested in a physical relationship and makes that clear then, frankly, the evidence suggests to me that your sex life with that person is over for good. If that were not the case, she/he would have already made clear their concern and intention or hope to right things.


Your only course of action, is to sit your partner down and TELL them your need for sex to continue in your life and your INTENTION that it will do so. Make it plain that their sexual rejection gives you the licence to explore your sexual needs with other partners outside your formal relationship. If your partner really does care about YOU (not the marriage/relationship/financial arrangement etc) then she will come to her senses and realise that she wishes to see all areas of your life together continue.

As with most matters to do with sex, this problem can involve lots of other difficulties and situations that the other partner is unaware of. Lots of menopausal women are pleased to see sex go because it was never right for them in the first place. Someimes women 'put up' with unsatisfactory sex for years in silence because they think it's pleasing to their man.

This problem can only be sorted out, one way or the other, by real communication and discussion.