 | I've been a member here, off and on, for over six years (member 89828 and 303133 are my old user numbers.)
In that time, I've seen quite a few blog posts or Forum comments which simply said: "I am gay" or "I like to suck cock" or some other basic statement of a similar sentiment. At first, I would think 'Big fucking deal, Pal. Do you want a medal or a damn cookie?' in my typical, sarcastic fashion. Then it dawned on me: For the guys who wrote those posts, it IS a big fucking deal. For many of them, that simple post is the first time they have ever made such a statement about themselves publicly. That's a pretty major moment for them. Granted, it's being done with relative anonymity but, still, for that individual, it is a pretty big deal. Putting the 'I like to suck cock' statement out there for others to see, to actually admit out loud (or, in this case, in writing) something that you've been afraid to share, can be extremely freeing. So, this is a retroactive apology to all of the guys that I have sarcastically (and in my own head) dismissed over the years. Sorry, guys. It IS a big deal, and you DO deserve a cookie!  |
New Comment Rating: 1
Similar topics: 1.Realization you are Bi...particularly women, but to all 2.late night chat was a heist!!! 3.6 Thoughts for Cocksuckers 4.showing her ASS 5.The Amazon and I
Comments:
The only ones who I share this info with are the five men I see, two of which are on a steady basis.
What I said was that, for some people, it is a big deal for them to admit their sexuality out loud (or in writing in a public forum). That being the case, they should not be ridiculed or dismissed simply because they are doing so. For a lot of people, hiding that part of themselves from the people they care about (and from themselves in many cases), is a huge burden. Working up the courage to admit who they are and how they feel is an enormous step.
So, that isn't the case for you. Congratulations. (Buy yourself an extra cookie.)
However...the dismissive attitude of your comment kind of proves the point I was making. (So I hope the cookies you buy are very stale and taste like sawdust.)
In the first sentence, my use of the word "you", wasn't meant as you, the person 'justwill'.
Rather 'you' was meant in a collective sense, meaning anyone, as an individual. Their own choice.
Sorry about that.
I stand by the rest of my statement.
In that case, we are in agreement and have nothing to argue about.
I also agree with your statement that publicly divulging one's sexuality is entirely the choice of each individual, and that not all people feel the need to do so--nor should they feel compelled to make their private business a public affair.
I appreciate that you took the time to clarify, and I hope that all of your future cookie purchases bring you only fresh and tasty baked goods!
I was merely saying that, for some people, publicly verbalizing the truth about their sexuality does mean something to them.
By all means, share as much--or as little--of your "business" as you like. No one is demanding that you do otherwise.
Just keep in mind that some men/women feel differently about "outing" themselves, and don't dismiss them for doing so.
One of the cool things about SYD is that it does provide a relatively safe place for people to share that kind of thing without the 'risks' that might apply to coming out in 'real life'.
I have often wondered how many folks use a site like this to test the waters or get comfortable with their sexuality before actually speaking up to people they associate with in person.
It's something I've been meaning to say for a while, and today just felt like the right day.
Thanks for the roses!
I'm sure just being able to discuss it in any capacity without harsh judgement must be a relief in many ways.
You're a good man
I still remember the first time I said it out loud to other people, and the sense of relief that hit me several moments after the words:"What can I say? I'm a cocksucker." left my mouth.
Granted, I said it in front of Mark and Eric--both of whom I had been blowing on a regular basis for several months by then--but doing the deed and claiming the 'title' are different things. Until that point, I don't think I had ever made the admission aloud to myself (though I DID run the question round and round in my mind for quite some time prior.)
I also remember the momentary pause, like I was waiting for lightning to shoot through the ceiling and strike me dead for making such a statement (I was only 14, but I believe that many an older guy has the same feeling of dread when they make the same confession publicly or to themselves). When no such divine retribution occurred, it was like a large weight had been lifted off of my chest.
Every guy who has wrestled with defining their sexuality deserves to experience that same sense of relief.
I have only one friend that I talk to it about. Judy has known for about four years.
My last girlfriend also knows. Although we are still friends, we don't talk about it. It wasn't the reason for our relationship's demise though.
Just as it is none of my business what my nieces, brothers or parents do in their bedroom, it is none of theirs what I do in mine. I've never had a boyfriend but if I did, I would tell my family and friends who he really is and it would be OK with them. Until then it's just a part of my private life that will remain just that.
As to the sexuality issue: I totally get what you mean. Who you have sex with is your business and yours alone. No argument from me. I've been aware of my sexual orientation since I was 14, and never felt the need to fill anyone else in on the matter. I wasn't ashamed, just didn't feel it was anyone's business. The only reason I shared that information with family and certain close friends was to explain the constant presence of the guy I have been happily living with for the past 20+ years.
However, for a lot of people, the act of admitting their sexuality publicly is also about admitting it to themselves. They need to put it out there so that they can learn to accept who they are. For them, it's an important step, and a very big deal.
New Comment Go to top