Maybe it could be as simple as you need to like the person you are about to suck. Find a friend that would like to try this and go for it. Put it in your mind as you start that you are going to finish and you are going to swallow his cum as well. Most guys trying this for the first few time have said they had a similar experience until they finally do it to the finish at least one time. Then they are more confident and better each time after that 1st one. Good luck I am a hetroflexible guy and will play with either sex for the fun of it now and I did not start until I was 55+ and have still only done it a few times so far but would agin for sure if I find the right guy!

Thanks for the thoughts!

Yeah I felt pretty guilty after bailing, I know.
And now I know better communication and expectations should be set and known beforehand. Lesson learnt.

And I am absolutely not attracted to men, purely cock focussed. I wish I'd be more attracted to men; that would make things easier I assume! And I can be horny any time of the day, whether there's porn involved or not. I guess the thought of myself sucking a cock has always been there unconsciously, probably since the first time I received my first blowjob myself.

So I will keep on searching for that one person I feel comfortable enough with to live out this fantasy, cause I do realize it's not gonna go away. As it happens I just recently started chatting with this guy with a nice cock who seems to be on the same page, so I'll see how that goes.

And I know I am not gay, and even if I would be I'd be fine with it, I'm just not. I know there are a lot of similar straight guys out there , but I was just wondering if anyone could relate. And just share my thoughts and experiences with you guys.

Dicks come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. If you are particular, you should exchange pictures with a prospective hook-up.

Bailing on a guy half-way into oral sex is not very nice. Which you probably know already.

Having better communication about likes/dislikes ahead of - and during - sex is essential. "I don't want you to push my head down on your cock" is certainly appropriate for either before or during.

Maybe you're just not enough attracted to men. When do you have that raging desire to suck cock? Is it when you are watching porn of a horny girl sucking lots of cock, when you think you want to do that too? (I presume you are watching porn, because I don't think anyone on this site doesn't.) Do you often watch only gay porn? Are you actually thinking about sucking cock, without any encouragement?

In my youth I did some experimenting with friends. It always involved porn or some exiting situation. One time my best friend wanted to jerk off together, when we are home alone. It was not an exciting situation and we didn't have porn. It didn't work for me and I let him down. On other occasions when we did have porn we jerked each other off. At that time I wasn't interested in exchanging blowjobs, but I now regret we never did.

One final thought. This desire is not going to go away. So find a way to make it happen in a safe and controlled way. Otherwise it will build in you and it might cause you to do risky things.

Yes, you do and you just haven't found the right man and the right cock. But don't give up. Hang in there and the stars will line up for you.

Some thoughts on sucking cock follow.

First of all, you self identify as straight and you do NOT have to turn in your Straight Membership Card just because you want to suck cock. A lot of straight men do. I call these men straight cocksuckers and there are a lot of them. In my personal life I've known several and there are undoubtedly millions worldwide. When the day dawns that you fulfill your dream and you actually suck a man to climax and swallow his sperm, you may still call yourself straight if you wish.

You mentioned 69ing during one of your encounters and that is indeed a fun activity, but I like to do it during foreplay. For the main event (or events) of orgasmic climax I like to do just one thing at a time. When I'm the cocksucker I want to be able to devote my full attention to my mouth, to the dick in it and to the man who's dick it is. I want to tune in to his response to my oral service so that I can fine tune my actions on the go to give him maximum pleasure and a satisfying orgasm. When I'm being sucked I want to devote my entire attention to my dick and the service being lavished upon it.

When you take a man to climax should you swallow? YES, YES, YES! I have never, ever spit out a man's sperm. Not even on my first time. I view the sperm as a thank you gift he has given me for giving him good service. And what a fine gift it is. It's a living product of his body as there are live sperm cells in that fluid. It will go down into my gut, be digested and turn into muscle tissue in my body. Part of him will become part of me. That feels good.

I've kind of waxed poetic on the joys of sucking cock, but I think it's the ultimate in male bonding. When two buddies get together and suck each other off they become sperm brothers. You mentioned being more comfortable with someone you have a connection with. Well, look over your circle of friends and see if there is anyone who might be a possibility. Drop a few hints. Over the years I've had several straight friends. (I myself am as gay as they come.) With most, but not all, of them we eventually sucked each other's dicks. Did it spoil our friendship? Absolutely not. It brought us closer together. We were not only friends, but suck buddies.

Good luck.